Ricemate Ro

My ricemate* Ro always showed his uncompromising/repulsive personality which we are long used to and never have felt it a big deal. As ricemates, or friends, we constantly remind ourselves that R has his tragic memories most young people never have — his teenage best friend died early, and Ro witnessed it all. All of Ro’s anti-social behaviors shall be excused upon that. If Ro appears in Murakami Haruki’s book he would be the Toru Watanabe (渡邊徹). But he was nothing like the Toru Watanabe since we first met, maybe he was still too far away from teenage back then. Today, he is a very ordinary early 30 man, who would complain his boss and discuss ways to make money during dinner. But he stayed single from the point his tragic memory was made. Though he always claimed he cannot stay calm because of his family issue, his family issue was just too trivial for me that I can’t really remember what it is.

Most of time Ro and I would only dinner with a certain group of friends. But there was a time we talked in private a lot. He asked my opinion towards a girl he met through other friend’s refer. I remember that girl was a kindergarten teacher. I held a negative image of kindergarten teacher before all this happened, it was probably from my friend Teddy (she is not a teacher though). Ro and the girl became ricemates and the girl had endless trivial stories to text him at night. Ro sometimes showed me her text and asked me is it inappropriate, both Ro’s reply and the girl’s reaction. The girl even talked about menstruation and Ro replied her with serious tone. I had no clue what happened between them. And the girl disappeared after maybe half a year. I still hold a negative image of kindergarten teacher today.

In the 3-people dinner last night, Ro was so excited because I brought my husband along — he always likes my husband, sometimes I can even smell out some gayness in the air. It was a bit special last night, as I just bought my new toy — the Gopro Hero 7 — an action camera and brought it to dinner. With my new toy dead air had no way to exist. I filmed a Time Lapse video of us talking.

Like most of early 30 men, Ro is now more eager to make money than in any period before. He talked to my husband of some money making ideas, without knowing my profession field is relevant. I was unable to interrupt, and gave up offering any advice. Honestly, his talks manifested his ignorance of the industrial scene. I tried to widen his view a bit, and his repulsive ego appeared again. Only men could join the money making discussion! I gave up again. My husband is more sociable in situation like this, he started bullshiting Ro and somehow it really calmed him down.

I should have mentioned that in each time we ricemates gathering, someone would definitely ask Ro about his status of relationship. This time my husband did the job. It was like an attack in my view, and this is why I don’t like to ask people in single about their mating progress — the feedback could be disturbing. The question opened the Pandora’s box — Ro’s thoughts and attitude towards female. Last time I met Ro was like one year ago, he was still quite neutral, at least would not say things like “women would never understand us”. Let’s not mention his speech. I played with my new toy while he was on talk.

My husband and I had to wake up early in the next morning, so we rejected when Ro suggested having a drink nearby. Ro asked us to stay with him, he said he was emotional unstable and had to visit the Psychiatrist. He walked with us till we got on the vehicle.

I can’t tell if a person is in mental illness or he’s just being indulgent. Don’t you see the fact that everyone else is trying hard to stay sane?

I wish there will be a better ricemate Ro next dinner.

2 Mar 2019

* 飯友in Cantonese, means friends who have dinner together regularly.